Evolution of a Baby Boomer: Life Beyond Sex, Drugs and Rock ‘n’ Roll by Joyce Fidler

Evolution of a Baby Boomer is a self-published memoir by a woman in my congregation. She’s a wonderful woman and her story is a fun read. She expressed some embarrassment about having her minister read stories of her “wild and crazy years”, as she writes in her dedication, but none of her experiences are that extreme, and believe me, we’ve all been there. Her “evolution” is really just growing up from what might be characterized as a long adolescence into increasing maturity and sobriety. Twenty pages before the end of the book, newly divorced, newly sober, living alone for the first time and newly employed, she finally is able to write, “In December of 1991, on the cusp of my 42nd birthday, I signed my first contract to be a full-time teacher. Welcome, at last, to adulting.”

There are no childhood stories. She’s already married with two young daughters on the first page. But there’s also a wonderful hook to the story at the end of the first paragraph, “My heart pounded as I bathed the girls for bed. This was the night I would finally tell their father my plan to start dating other men.” It’s the 1970s. Her husband agrees to an open marriage and Joyce does start dating although almost instantly she meets a man and becomes monogamous with him. Eventually he moves in with Joyce and her husband, and the kids. The husband dates also but doesn’t find a permanent partner.

That’s the sex part of the subtitle. The drugs part is daily pot smoking and occasional drinking. She avoids any serious consequences, fortunately. The rock ‘n’ roll is Joyce’s singing and song-writing with a series of bands in a series of clubs around Indianapolis where she lives. Another feature of the book is song lyrics she wrote at the time inspired by what was going on in her life. There are many interesting stories along the way: a house fire, the course of her relationships with husband and boyfriend, the boyfriend’s alcoholism, a music video played on MTV, challenges of raising teen-aged daughters.

I first met Joyce in 1996 when I did my internship in the congregation where I’m now the minister. She tells no stories of that time, and few stories after. Drama-free lives don’t give a memoirist much to write about. But it’s all good. Healthy relationships with her now adult daughters and their father. A stable marriage to a supportive man. Thirty-four years sober.

She ends with a story I was able to witness, when she appeared last year in a play called, “Bill W. and Dr. Bob” about the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous. Joyce played Anne Smith, Dr. Bob’s wife. She writes, “It was the magical merging of two of my lifelong passions…recovery and performing.” It was a nice evening for me, too, sitting high up in the last row of the sold out little theater in North Hollywood. I was there to support my congregant but truly enjoyed the play and her performance. I was proud of her and happy for her. Now I can say I also enjoyed her book and am similarly proud of and happy for her.