From a recent article in the New York Times I learned a Swedish phrase that spoke to me: kärt besvär. Kärt, means “dear or cherished,” and besvär, means “pain.” The phrase reminds us to look for the positive in the negative; it’s always there. Paying a bill is a pain, but having the money to pay it is a blessing. Taking care of a loved one can feel like a burden, but having a loved one to care for is a great blessing. Who hasn’t complained about a job, or doing household chores? But having a job, having a house to take care of are great blessings.

Because life comes with pain, inevitably, kärt besvär gives us a choice, shall we descend into grumbling and “woe-is-me”? Well maybe we should, for a time at least! Let’s acknowledge our hurt. But finding the associated blessing also gives us a way to temper our anger and depression with gratitude and light-heartedness. You have to have a back to have back pain. You have to have the blessing of a child to have the pain of worrying about them.

The same, I think, applies to our church. We have our pains. We have our struggles. Conflict in a community is probably as inevitable as occasional pain is in every life. But you have to have a community in order to have conflict in the community, and having a community is a great blessing.