{"id":2986,"date":"2023-09-10T16:38:48","date_gmt":"2023-09-10T23:38:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rhmcd.com\/?p=2986"},"modified":"2023-10-10T15:16:58","modified_gmt":"2023-10-10T22:16:58","slug":"tolerance-and-brunch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rhmcd.com\/?p=2986","title":{"rendered":"Tolerance and Brunch"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

After a summer following our individual paths of rest and exploration, our annual Ingathering service calls us back to community. We return to the common work of our faith: the core principles that make for good lives and responsible co-creators of our world, and the social bonds that link each to all. Though the New York Times opinion writer, Ross Douthat, meant to be dismissive of Unitarian Universalism when he characterized our creedless religion as \u201cTolerance and brunch\u201d I think he\u2019s given us a mission statement I\u2019m proud to pursue.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Today\u2019s service of Ingathering marks the beginning of a new church year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            We have a year planned jam-packed with inspiring worship, enrichment for children, education and spiritual growth for adults, music and art, service to our neighborhood, fun and fellowship for ourselves, caring for one another, and service on committees to support it all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Today the year begins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            But what is it, that is beginning?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Why are we here?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            What is a church for?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Patricia Shuttee, a Unitarian woman and wife of a minister who served congregations in Ohio and Connecticut, gives us some sense of why we do what we do:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cWe have joys and sorrows and hopes to share, questions, things we care about and want to help make better.  Things that we would like to understand, ideas waiting to be heard.  Today, we are together in gladness, once more the special community that we call our church.  A community of ages that sings its songs, tells its thoughts, asks its questions, and searches together with courage and with love.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Her poetry points to the essence of our religious community:  sharing our lives, learning together, working together, singing, searching, with courage and love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            I know the gladness of the special community we call our church.  And I know we have something special here we can give to others.  And indeed, growing our community is a pre-eminent goal of our congregation as we replace members we lost during COVID and over the last few years, and build the next generations of our church for our next 80 years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Who are those people that might be the next new members of our church?  What are they looking for, hoping for, when they come through our door?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            A few weeks ago, a columnist for the Washington Post<\/em>, Perry Bacon Jr.  wrote a piece titled, \u201cI left the church \u2013 and now long for a \u2018church of the nones\u2019\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

            He doesn\u2019t mean nuns as in a women\u2019s religious order.  He doesn\u2019t long for a convent.  He longs for a church of the people who, when asked on a survey to indicate their religious affiliation, check the box labeled \u201cnone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            The \u201cnones\u201d like Perry Bacon, have risen from about 5% of the US population in the 1990s, to nearly 30% today and 40% of the 18 to 29-year olds.  Most of the nones remain interested in spiritual ideas, certainly they face spiritual issues of meaning, loneliness, loss, justice as we all do.  They call themselves \u201cspiritual but not religious.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m currently reading a book titled,\u00a0The Great De-Churching<\/em>, (by Jim Davis and Michael Graham; Zondervan, 2023) which examines the millions of formerly churched people who have left their churches in the last several decades.\u00a0\u00a0This \u201cde-churching\u201d is the largest and fastest transformation of religion in American history.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Here\u2019s a paragraph from the book:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cBefore now, the largest religious shift in church attendance in the US occurred during the twenty-five-year period after the Civil War.\u00a0\u00a0From 1870 to 1895, church attendance more than doubled as people resumed their postwar lives.\u00a0\u00a0That religious shift pales in comparison to what we are seeing today, only instead of going back to church, people today are leaving church.\u00a0\u00a0About 15% of American adults living today (around 40 million people) have effectively stopped going to church, and most of this dechurching has happened in the past twenty-five years.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            That twenty-five years, by the way, is exactly the length of my ministry career.  So maybe it\u2019s my fault.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            The good news, though, and the authors of The Great De-Churching<\/em> are quick to point this out, most of the folks who have left church are willing to come back.  In some cases, the person\u2019s connection to church was tentative in the first place, they got out of the habit, they moved and didn\u2019t join a new church right away, and then they re-organized their Sundays and developed new habits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            In other cases, like Perry Bacon, sharing his story in his opinion piece in the Washington Post<\/em>, the idea of church still attracts him, but he\u2019s looking for a new kind of church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Perry Bacon grew up in a church.  His father was an Assistant Pastor.  He stayed in church in college.  He began to drift away from church as churches in the last ten years began to segregate around politics and culture war issues.  And then COVID hit, and it was easy to stay away and not go back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            But he knows what he\u2019s missing.  And he worries about what he\u2019s not giving to his daughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Friends tell him to try a Unitarian Universalist church.  And he does.  He likes our seven principles.  But he found the UU churches he attended, \u201coverwhelmingly White and elderly\u201d and \u2018lacked the wide range of activities for adults and kids found at the Christian congregations that I was a part of.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            He imagines he might start his own church, or persuade [his] friends to collectively attend one of the Unitarian Universalist churches in town [to] make it younger and more racially diverse.\u201d  But he doesn\u2019t do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Instead, he sits with his longing.  And he bemoans what he is missing without a church, what our nation is missing without a church-going culture:  \u201csinging, sermons and solidarity all at once.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            He says, and I so agree, \u201cKids need places to learn values such as forgiveness, while schools focus on math and reading.  Young adults need places to meet a potential spouse.  Adults with children need places to meet with other parents and some free babysitting on weekends.  Retirees need places to build new relationships, as their friends and spouses pass away.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            He wonders, with all the good that churches do why people, especially left-leaning people, are abandoning church, instead of re-inventing it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            And so he closes by imagining his ideal church.  A church of the \u201cnones\u201d he calls it.  Here is his vision:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cStart the service with songs with positive messages. Have children do a reading to the entire congregation and then go to a separate kids\u2019 service. Reserve time when church members can tell the congregation about their highs and lows from the previous week. Listen as the pastor gives a sermon on tolerance or some other universal value, while briefly touching on whatever issues are in the news that week. A few more songs. The end. An occasional post-church brunch.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0During the week, there would be activities, particularly ones in which parents could take their kids and civic-minded members could volunteer for good causes in the community.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Oh My God!  Perry!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            You just described every Unitarian Universalist church I\u2019ve ever visited and every Unitarian Universalist church I\u2019ve led for the last twenty-five years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            He says, \u201cI don\u2019t expect the church of the nones to emerge. It\u2019s not clear who would start it, fund it or decide its beliefs. But it should.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Perry.  Dear.  You don\u2019t need to start a new church.  Come here!  You don\u2019t need to re-invent the church for today. Unitarian Universalists created that church decades ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Yes, our congregations are overwhelmingly white and elderly.\u00a0\u00a0Partly because the folks still in the pews are what\u2019s left after the great de-churching took the young ones away.\u00a0\u00a0And is that your only complaint?\u00a0\u00a0Is that it?\u00a0\u00a0Well come to church and help us!\u00a0\u00a0You\u2019ve got the right idea, Perry.\u00a0\u00a0Why not get your young, diverse friends together and come to church?\u00a0\u00a0Why not help us in our mission of diversity?\u00a0\u00a0You\u2019d be enthusiastically welcomed.\u00a0\u00a0We could work together to make our church better for everyone.\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s what churches do.\u00a0\u00a0Church-goers know that belonging to a religious community doesn\u2019t mean standing outside with folded arms, tapping your foot until the church gets perfect.\u00a0\u00a0Church members comes in to the church, bearing up with every community\u2019s human imperfections while we all work together to make it better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            A couple of weeks after Perry Bacon\u2019s opinion piece appeared in the Washinngton Post<\/em>, Ross Douthat answered Bacon with his own Opinion piece in the New York Times<\/em> titled, \u201cWhere Should Agnostics Go on Sundays?\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Again, I wanted to scream at the newspaper.  \u201cUnitarian Universalist churches exist!\u201d  We\u2019re filled with agnostics, and atheists, and theists.  Come here!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Ah, but there is Ross Douthat\u2019s criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Ross Douthat has heard of Unitarian Universalism, of course, but Douthat doesn\u2019t believe that a church that encourages a multitude of theological beliefs is enough, either to sustain a spiritual life, or sustain a religious institution. Ross Douthat thinks that the whole reason for churches, and temples and mosques, to exist, is to proclaim a single transcendent truth, and that the church members should learn and accept that truth, and if they\u2019re uncomfortable about it they should squirm until they can bend themselves into the shape the church tells them is good for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0When I asked the question at the beginning of my sermon, the question for the beginning of a new church year, \u201cWhy are we here?\u00a0\u00a0What is church for?\u201d Ross Douthat would say that none of that stuff Patricia Shuttee offers as answers is really essential.\u00a0\u00a0Church isn\u2019t ultimately about\u00a0\u201cjoys and sorrows and hopes to share, questions, things we care about and want to help make better.\u00a0\u00a0Things that we would like to understand, ideas waiting to be heard\u201d and so on.\u00a0\u00a0Church is about doctrine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Ross Douthat says to Perry Bacon, \u201cOf course you can\u2019t expect to fully garner the benefits of church without some kind of real commitment, some actual dogma or belief.\u201d  Ross Douthat doesn\u2019t want Perry Bacon, and other \u201cnones\u201d to go to a Unitarian Universalist church.  He wants them to go to an orthodox Christian church where they will be challenged by doctrine and persuaded eventually by the dogma of the church to accept the true belief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            This is fundamentally the difference between orthodox religion and a liberal religion like Unitarian Universalism. Orthodoxy says that belief is the business of the church.  Liberal religion says that what you believe is your business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Yes.\u00a0\u00a0A real commitment, an actual belief, is important to a healthy spiritual life.\u00a0\u00a0But it\u2019s not the aim of the liberal church to give it to you.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s our job, mine and the rest of this community, to help you follow your journey to your own firmly held beliefs.\u00a0\u00a0The job of the liberal church is to keep you moving.\u00a0\u00a0To offer you resources.\u00a0\u00a0To give encouragement when you\u2019re struggling.\u00a0\u00a0To give you challenge when you\u2019re over-confidant.\u00a0\u00a0And to celebrate with you when you are able to claim and proclaim a set of beliefs that support a healthy, joyful life for yourself and others and the world we share.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Ross Douthat reads Perry Bacon\u2019s description of the ideal church of the nones and criticizes it as not enough:  a song to sing, a sermon on tolerance and the news of the day, brunch afterward.  Douthat says, \u201cDoes he really think you can sustain an institution on vague appeals to tolerance and brunch?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Yes.  Ross.  Yes I do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            That\u2019s the church I want.  That\u2019s the profitable way I want to spend my Sunday morning.  That\u2019s what our national culture needs.  Not doctrine.  Tolerance and brunch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            The core gift of a religious community is not doctrine and dogma, it\u2019s tolerance and brunch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            It really is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            That is exactly, those two things, the glory and salvation that we offer here:  tolerance and brunch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Tolerance, meaning all of those deep questions of theology, and moral values, and principles to live by, that I preach about and we discuss and wrestle with, and think about, and challenge ourselves to live up to.  That is the substance of church.  The striving to be better.  To make the world better.  To see more clearly.  To understand more deeply.  To ask not just what we should do, but ask why does it matter?  To wonder who we will be as people and individuals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Yes, Tolerance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0And yes, brunch, meaning the essential function of church to bring people together in shared, loving, caring, community.\u00a0\u00a0That is the structure of the church.\u00a0\u00a0A place to laugh.\u00a0\u00a0To make friends.\u00a0\u00a0To open our lives to each other.\u00a0\u00a0To know the intimate truths of other people\u2019s lives.\u00a0\u00a0To make peace with people who are not like us.\u00a0\u00a0To learn to like people, in all their weirdness and wonderfulness.\u00a0\u00a0We do that through singing together.\u00a0\u00a0Playing together.\u00a0\u00a0Eating together.\u00a0\u00a0And an occasional post-service brunch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Two gifts that define us and fulfill us:  A moral message.  A meal together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            That is and always has been the essence of religious community.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            It is enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0And you, Ross, and you, Perry, are welcome to join us.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After a summer following our individual paths of rest and exploration, our annual Ingathering service calls us back to community.… Read more Tolerance and Brunch<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2986","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sermons","category-writing"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rhmcd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2986","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rhmcd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rhmcd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rhmcd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rhmcd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2986"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/rhmcd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2986\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3031,"href":"https:\/\/rhmcd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2986\/revisions\/3031"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rhmcd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2986"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rhmcd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2986"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rhmcd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2986"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}